The One I Miss the Most

A long, long time ago, back in the late 80s, I produced, and sometimes participated in, porno flicks of the home made kind. With the advent of relatively cheap VHS cameras it was a genre that was just taking off around the world. The money I made was almost zero, but I made sure the women who participated got paid. The guys didn't get any material rewards. I demanded that all models were checked for HIV. But the main criterion was that everyone involved had a good time. Sometimes the camera wasn't even turned on. It was a short period, just a year and a half, maybe two, but we made quite a lot of videos. I heard that they even sold well in NY and San Francisco. So if you're from Sweden or USA and is old enough you might even have seen some of them.

But this post is about one video. a very special one in more ways than one. We were supposed to shot a video for a private customer with a girl that I hadn't met before. The crew and the model, let's call her Ninnie, arrived and it turned out that the customer wasn't interested any more. What to do now? After a lot of talk back and forth the camera man suggested that we make an SM video with me and Ninnie. He knew that that was just my cup of tea. I was reluctant even if I was attracted to her, for SM play I want a partner who is really willing and who have some idea what she is in for. After I had outlined what I had in mind Ninnie was not only willing, she was eager to try it.

So I got out my SM paraphernalia, ropes, chains and whips hanging from the bar I had in the living room. In front of it a platform with a T-bar. The base story was that Ninnie had been sent to me by some one. We never used more than one video camera shooting continuously so that the action could unfold as smoothly and naturally as possible.

The shooting opened with me on the sofa smoking as Ninnie entered and said that she had been sent to me to learn what it was like to be a slave girl.Pretending boredom I looked her over and told her to strip and then we would see. As she did as she was told I demonstrated my acting skills by still having a slightly blasé expression on my face. When she stood naked before me with her head down I rose and walked around her, inspecting her body. I bounced her tits, pulled lightly on her nipples, felt her bare pussy and gave her ass a good slap before I ordered her to sit on the platform.  

I explained that she had one last chance to walk away. If she stayed she would belong completely to me for the next twenty four hours. I would be her owner, body and soul, I would use her as I saw fit. I expected total obedience, If I was dissatisfied with her she would be punished. She might feel the whip, cane or some other of my implements just because I felt like it. If she at any time felt that she absolutely couldn't take any more she just had to utter her safe word: Mercy, and I would immediately stop what I was doing.  Did she accept these conditions? "Yes" she said in a soft voice, almost a whisper.

OK. Time for her to feel what she had gotten herself into. I ordered her to stand up under the chandelier that hung from the ceiling, put a pair of leather cuffs around her wrists, lowered the chandelier and unhooked it from the rope it was attached to. I put a short chain between the cuffs and hoisted Ninnie up until she was almost on her tip toes. I walked around her, admiring my new property before picking out what I should use on her. Maybe just a spanking? Finally I decided on a riding crop. I walked around her again, lightly touching her with the crop. She shuddered but remained unmoving. I held her close and caressed her naked body to calm her and gave her a kiss on the nose. But enough with the cuddling. I ordered her to present her back to me. She turned around and I admired the round cheeks of her ass for a few moments before I gave them a resounding crack with the crop. She made a little whimpering sound and jumped a bit but immediately positioned herself before me again. The reddening mark on her ass was beautiful.But as I'm a sucker for symmetry I gave her one more slightly lower down.. Once more her only reaction was a slight jump and a whimper before presenting her ass to me. I fully expected her to use her safe word at this point as she had never been whipped before. As I was standing behind her I couldn't judge Ninnie's reaction from her face. I hit her four more times with the crop, each time more forcefully until her ass cheeks had a pattern something like a  # of beautiful red welts.I turned her around and took her into my arms, her head on my shoulder, her tears soaking my shirt.

And now the unexpected and beautiful happened. I took hold of her hair and pulled her head back so I could see her face. It was so beautiful! Tear streaked and happy. We looked deeply into each others eyes for a long while. Then, I don't to this day know how it happened, we were kissing passionately and I know I was in love. How long this went on I'm not sure. Finally we were interrupted by the by the camera man: "This is getting to personal. I'll leave you alone." We broke the kiss, looked at each other, smiled and at the same time said: "No, we'll continue." I was about to release Ninnie when she said: "Please, master, can I stay like this? But a glass of wine and a cigarette would make me ever so grateful." How could I refuse my beautiful slave her humble request? And I fell even more in love as I helped her to the wine and the cig.

After the short break we continued our session. The camera man still felt embarrassed at witnessing our intense and personal SM play. Culminating much later with Ninnie once again standing up with her breasts bound. While the camera man and I packed down the lights, camera and tripod Ninnie fell asleep on the sofa.

We had a wonderful few months together before her former love, heroin, claimed her back. for weeks I tried to find her but all in vain.I'll give anything to have her back now. But realistically a heroin addict haven't survived these twenty odd years. An added irony is that Ninnie was bisexual and would probably have been very comfortable with me as her Mistress.

The video was later deemed illegal due to "olaga våldsskildring" illegal depiction of violence. As one woman in the jury said: "We have to ban it! She is obviously enjoying it!" So what is obscene with two people lovingly enjoy sex, albeit of a kind not practised by everyone. But I sometimes wonder what the woman juror did when she got home. Maybe hubby was in for a surprise.



I wish I could once again experience something like what Ninnie and I had. This time as woman with woman. Then I would be a happy old cougar.

And with that I'll give you a hint of what's to come in the next instalment. It might be about an unexpected three some with me, Ninnie and a girl we can call Sanna. Or it might be the story of the poetess and me in another BDSM adventure. Come back and you'll find out.

Over and out from
Your Mistress Caisa.